Thoughts... Thoughts... Thoughts...

A maths paper stared me in the face as I looked at it strangely wondering if I had any clue on how to do this. Many confused looks on my face appeared and I blankly faded out into space. I thought and thought but nothing came to me. I flipped frantically through the pages and finally came to a page which was in my language. ENGLISH. All the other pages came to me as gibberish or as if I was looking at a French dictionary. Not many things I could do but to look at the person next to me confused and strangely adapted to the atmosphere of uncertainty filled the air. A thin gust blew through the dusty window, I look through it but see nothing. Then... a thought comes to me, hits me in the face like a baseball. I quickly jot down my thoughts and finish the test. Unsure of anything I had just written down. I submit the test and realize I had written all the insanely wrong answers.


The looks on my face was strangely saddened as I receive my mark for my intertextual essay on Things Fall Apart and Purple Hibiscus. Comparing the two novels showing how each author revealed the consequences of Imperialism in Nigeria.
A 6.0 out of 10.0 in Literature may be a good mark, as I look around to see many other student receiving 8.5s, 8.7s, 8.2s, 9.3. I look down ashamed. Although I do not come from Australia or have ANY english background, I still feel disappointed with myself, the level of research I had done was minimal although my friend sent me hers which she received a 8.5. I did not feel good about myself. Not untill my friend came along and encouraged me. He told me about how it is considered really great in Literature.

Nothing much else I can think of but I don't need to. I just hope nothing happens. I just wanna ask for forgiveness one more time. As I know I've done really really wrong and the consequences will be really bad but just be there for me through it all. Thank you so much once again. ILY.

Though great minds think alike, I don't think I can carry on anymore. Through the exams and tests, my nervous thoughts get worse and worse. Anxiety fills my head every time something like: I'm going to fail, I don't understand at ALL. I know it isn't thinking positively but I have nothing else to think.
I have no one to turn to but it also makes no sense because my family are always there to support me. I just feel I need someone else.
I don't have a clue on who that is. It doesn't seem to make sense.
HELP..!

I really really really pray that I can be someone in this world. Someone where my name is just said and I'm just recognized around the world. But somehow I just feel that that's not going to happen.
I just an emotional wreck at the moment and I have nothing else to think so I'm writing it down here. As I stumble across many bridges, some burn down and some I cross successfully, I may never know when I may just fall into the pit of lava waiting for me.